i know i'm allowed to feel the way i feel even though i think i sound crazy..
you're allowed to experience your emotions no matter what they say. they're your emotions -- they belong to you, if you feel like they're necessary then express them.
maybe he tells you you're being stupid and that you don't have to right to be upset because of something he did because of some technicality like "i don't go out with you"...technicalities like that fall short compared to how much time you spent together, how many kisses you shared, how often he called you beautiful and how often he made you feel like he cared. he's being a FUCKING IDIOT and you know it, but you don't want to call him out on it for fear of seeming even crazier.
don't worry, it's all been real. you have been the one looking through clear glasses, and for one reason or another, his were just tinted dark. if he thinks he's been straight forward with you then he is mistaken. he has led you on, or just been dishonest with himself and his own feelings. and now you're here, with a bitter taste in your mouth, and if he reads your inner thoughts, he's just write you off as crazy.
in reality, he needs to step back from his position and realize that although you were the one who put him up on the white horse in the first place, HE rode around on it like he had the intention of playing the part.